


Quirkiness of Fate

by LordryuTJ



Category: Banana Bus Squad, Life Is Strange (Video Game), Professional Wrestling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Wrestling, Dark Comedy, Gen, Hilarity Ensues, Humor, Road Trips, Side Story, Why are Evan/Craig not using their Vanoss/Mini Ladd nicknames in their tags?, Wrestling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-08-15 19:50:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8070463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordryuTJ/pseuds/LordryuTJ
Summary: A side-story to Tournament of Fate, chronicling the misadventures across California of a band of YouTubers who wanna join in on the insanity of the Tournament.





	1. ALRIGHT!

**Author's Note:**

> **A little side-story that kind-of intertwines with the Tournament of Fate, this features a different cast of characters; however, while the Tournament of Fate is mainly played for drama and action, this will mostly be a comedic type of story, especially given the title, and the people who'll be involved. There will be a couple of characters who appeared in Tournament of Fate involved here, but they won't be featured too much.**
> 
> **Just a heads up, this story will intertwine with the primary story after I finish this one. This will also be a much shorter story than the main story (about 4 to 5 chapters minimum); the timeline spans between near the beginning to about the day that the Tournament of Fate's first rounds begin.**

It is a fairly dim afternoon in South California (more specifically, Riverside, just a way's down from LA). This is an afternoon that will certainly lead to an eventful night for some people. Some have left the workday, others just happen to be going to work, some are just hanging around the bar, there's no telling how much is happening in this state; it's California, it's a pretty big state, so there's a lot of shit going on all at once.

We see an assortment of oddballs standing in front of a van. The group looks fairly amateur and ridiculous with their sets of clothing, almost solidifying that they have to be some sort of group, and being brought together at this time of day, there's a feeling that these guys are ready to undergo some sort of plan. Maybe a heist? Probably not, they don't look very experienced.

The meeting starts with a shout.

_"ALRIGHT!"_

The shouter, standing as the leader of this group, is a guy sporting a brownish-beige owl mask and a red jacket. This man, known by most by the nickname of Vanoss, speaks up, "Alright, the gang's all here!"

His friends cheer like the world's weirdest anarchists, bask in the atmosphere of what he has planned, while looking just as oddly-dressed, sharing the leader's fairly odd sense of fashion.

"Last week, I said it was the best night of crazy awesome stuff that we've had as a team..."

"*chuckling* It was—it totally was, dude!" The pig-masked friend, ironically called Wildcat, agrees.

Vanoss continues, "...but _tonight_... oh man it's gonna get a lot better from here on out!"

"Better than the Liquor Hole party?" Nicknamed H2O Delirious, the blue-hoodie wearing patron with a Jason-like hockey mask, briefly objects.

"No way—there's no way it'll beat the Liquor Hole run." The sharply-dressed English YouTuber Mini Ladd, attired with pink hair and a business suit, shakes his head. Opinions may vary.

"Guys, we're going to the next level with this; this time, we're gonna change the game for good, for-fuckin'-ever."

'Ohhh's of anticipation ring around briefly. And then there is a brief silence. Awkward as it sometimes is.

Lui Calibre, the guy with the mask of a cigar-smoking monkey, is the first to speak against this silence, "...Sooo, what's the plan?"

After another couple of seconds of silence, Vanoss responds, "... _Wrestling._ "

And then there is a brief spout of laughter from the collective, with how Vanoss worded his plan in that one single word.

"That's—you literally—just one word?" Wildcat speaks through his laughter.

"I just came up with the plan, like, an hour ago; I needed some way to

"So yeah, wrestling, what're you saying—what do you mean, what's up?" Terroriser, cosplaying as the Terminator (which is basically what he is considerably typecast as in terms of impressions), asks for a justification.

And then Delirious expresses his curiosity as well, "Is this a WWE 2K16 thing or somethin'?"

"No, this isn't a video game thing," Vanoss replies, "This is gonna be a _real thing_ , boys."

The rest of the gang perked up and stood at attention towards the 'Night Owl', as he continued, "Tonight, we're leavin' Riverside; we're leavin' this place, and headin' to Los Angeles."

Excitement gleams across the room; everyone understands the leap into bigger territories for their highly absurd antics.

Vanoss continues, "Word on the street is there's a new joint up there, somethin' about redemption or some shit; but do we need redemption?"

…

"Guys, the answer's 'No'."

The rest of the team join in with a slight hesitance,  
"No!" "Nuh-uh!" "Fuck no!"

And then the Canadian owl proclaims again, "ALRIGHT!" with the others repeating after him in agreement.

"So, we go, we take this van-"

"Yeah, we take the shitty weird van over here..." Wildcat interrupts, pointing out the messy, sprinkly-shit design on the vehicle before them.

" _We take the van_ ," Vanoss continues, emphasizing and repeating, "and we go to LA, go and try to get in on the biz."

"On the biz!" Lui recites, in his child-like squeaker voice.  
"Yeah, the biz!" Mini Ladd cheers.  
"Uhhh, _blaaugh!_ " Terroriser groans, nervously going into his Schwarzenegger impression due to not having a good cheer to go by.

"ALRIGHT! Any—any questions before we go?" Vanoss asks, just to be sure...

...and a lone lobster claw rises up from the back. Vanoss takes notice, "Yes, Nogla?"

Daithi De Nogla stands behind the rest, dressed in a Zoidberg costume, complete with soul-piercing eyes. "Uh, why do I have to be in the Zoidberg costume? The—the GTA version of me works just as fine," he complains.

"Because you're more recognizable that way."

After a brief moment to think, Nogla realizes, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"ALRIGHT!" Vanoss shouts again, this time only Nogla and Delirious manage to repeat, almost like a cult chant. "Let's go to Los Angel-"

"Hey there fellas!"

A comically-thick Mexican-accented voice drifts in like the wind, as a green and yellow bus rolls in behind the crappy van, interrupting Vanoss.

The man piloting the bus is none other than the pink-shirted Carlos, aka Silent Droidd. "You guys need a ride?" He asks, carrying the weird accent that interrupted the owl.

Wildcat gasps in excitement, "Banana bus!" he shouts as he run towards the bus. Everyone else, bar Vanoss, follow the pig-man not long after, with their own comments.  
"It's back!" "Banana bus, yeah!" "Holy shit, this is nostalgic for some reason!" "Yeah!"

Knowing he has pretty much been trumped by a bigger and better ride, Vanoss sighs in defeat, "I guess we're taking the Banana Bus then."

"YEEAAH BANANA BUS SQUAD!" Wildcat bellows, the most excited out of the group to get in, complete with humming the song that goes along with it, " _Badoo-badoo, Ba-na-na-bus~, badoo-bado_ — _move, Carlos_. I call shotgun!"

The time for _Grand Theft Auto_ antics are the past now; in real life, when it comes to achieving the opportunity to perform in an environment like professional wrestling, it can be limitless, much like imagination, especially where they're going.


	2. Ba-Du, Ba-Du, Ba-Na-Na-Bus!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> **The Banana Bus:  
>  Lined with green and yellow that makes it able to be spotted from almost miles away**
> 
> **Stretches the length of about three-and-a-half cars.**
> 
> **Became the subject to a slightly annoying song, and perhaps an odd meme.**
> 
> **Originated from a video of over 12 million views on YouTube.  
>  _And_ it's home to the most absurd but goofy set of dipshits you'd love to hang out with.**

Here our unlikely heroes were, traveling in the bus named after fruit.

"Alright! I guess we're goin'!" Vanoss proclaims.

Much collective cheering ensues as the bus travels at a reasonable speed.

"We're ready to take the world by storm, again!" Vanoss rallies more cheering from his other YouTube friends. "And in about... how long is this ride?"

"About an hour and then some." Lui answers.

Vanoss re-continues. "In 'about an hour and then some'!..."

Lui leans back, stifling a little laughter. "Hehehe, alright then..."

"...we'll be in perhaps a bigger stage than we started!" Vanoss finishes.

"YEAH!" Wildcat proclaims among the other cheering friends. However, something comes across the pig-masked man's mind. "...wait, Evan, a question."

Vanoss looks towards the pig-man. "Yes, Tyler?"

"...We gonna be training before we get there?"

Suddenly, a very thick silence.

Beyond that, it really hits Vanoss hard once he realizes a missing portion of the plan. "...So, uh, yeah, I think we're just gonna wing it tonight, you guys."

"S-so that's a no, then?" Nogla, still dressed like Zoidberg, wants to clarify.

Vanoss's hesitant response: "...No. At—at this point, I think we'll be able to get somewhere like we usually do in GTA."

"So we just go in guns ablaze-" Terroriser suggests.

The owl-masked Canadian shakes his head. "No, no guns, this isn't _exactly_ like GTA! Fists, bats, crowbars, whatever blunt shit you have can work, but guns, maybe knives – _maybe_ – probably shouldn't be used; that's easy mode. No training, only fight."

"No training, only fight..." H2O Delirious repeats.

"'...only fight', got it." Nogla nods ahead.

"You know what, yeah, I'm okay with this." Mini Ladd adds.

"You know what—no, you know what, we _are_ training!" Wildcat denies the plans, going on his own agenda. "In fact, it starts _on the roof!_ Come on!

With that, the goofball wearing the pig mask and zebra-pattern pants pulls up the window next to his seat, and begins to go through to exit the banana bus.

"Uhh, no!" Vanoss takes witness to Wildcat climbing out of the interior and onto the roof of the bus. "That's—that's not right!"

Vanoss heads over to the open window, trying to follow Wildcat onto the top of the banana bus. "Anybody else wanna help me get Tyler down?"

…

"On second thought, I'll just sit here..." Terroriser responds.

"That's—that's your problem right now." Delirious rejects the offer.

"Yeah, you're on your own for this one, Evan," says Nogla.

"Okay Vanoss, see you later!" SilentDroidd waves goodbye to Vanoss, still focusing on the road ahead.

Vanoss is clearly going up alone in this situation.

* * *

Standing on a moving vehicle is a very bumpy and mostly considered to be a disorienting ride for the most part. There's a reason almost nobody does it; because it's pretty much a death trap if a sign or a highway comes in their way. Or slippery footing on the roof.

Vanoss gets onto the roof without as much as a single problem in doing so, where Wildcat awaits him, standing in what he considers is a badass pose, ready to kick some sort of ass.

"Let's fuckin' go where the fight belongs, man! Gang Beasts style!" The pigman growls excitedly.

"Dude, this doesn't even work as a ring!" Vanoss complains.

Wildcat responds violently. "Everything's a ring to me!"

With that, he swings a fist at Vanoss's owl mask, and the impromptu fight begins

To sum up the fight without going into too much detail; it's kind of a goofy affair for the most part, with the swaying bus forcing them around, resulting in a couple of hilarious prat falls here and there, not dissimilar to the flops and thuds that occur in their antics online on Grand Theft Auto V, or even that of their battles on Gang Beasts.

"I'm gonna—I'm gonna win!"

"No, you're not, Tyler!"

"Yes I— _aw fuck_ , _I fell._ "

"Surprise motherfucker! Surprise motherfucker!"

"This big-ass Banana Bus isn't big enough for the two of us, Evan!"

"Wha—it holds, like, fuckin' ten people, what the fuck are you talking about?!"

 ***thwack!** * "Oww, my butthole!"

"Night Owl style, bitch! Night Owl style all the way!"

Meanwhile, inside the Banana Bus, the other YouTubers on board begin to take notice on the incoming highway in the direction the bus was heading, especially the blue-hoodied H2O Delirious.

"V—Vanoss!" Delirious calls up to the roof, thumping on the ceiling of the bus with both hands.

"What's up, what's going on down there?"

"There's a lot of highway comin', watch out!"

"What's Delirious on his shit about right now?" Wildcat asks as he flops over Vanoss with a sloppy elbow drop.

Getting up, Vanoss sees the valley of cars and roads ahead of them. "Oh shit."

Wildcat gets up as well, slowly turning around in the same direction as Evan. "Evan, what the fu—holy shit, there's a lot of cars he—"

And then both the owl and the pig get thwacked by an elevated bridge just before them. They both scream as they get knocked nearly the whole way off the bus.

Thankfully, they manage to cling onto the back

Wildcat chortles in excitement, almost scared shitless to go along with the pain and surprise. "Ho-o-o-o-ly shit man, this really _is_ Gang Beasts now!"

"Don't let go of the Banana Bus, Tyler!" Vanoss proclaims. "Keep 'er gooo'n!"

Wildcat joins along on that proclaimation. "Keep 'er _gooooo'n!_ "

As the two animal-masked troublemakers hold onto the back of the bus, the bus itself begins to swerve around, as the weight slightly shifts unevenly, and the cars all around in its way are not doing any favors. The YouTubers inside are naturally at a panic.

"Oh shit!" Delirious exclaims.

"Whoa god, oh god, everyone brace for impact!" Nogla proclaims, hiding in his bus seat.

"Everything's going to shit already, guys! In real life this time!" Terroriser panics.

"I dunno—I dunno what's goin' on, man, this is-this is the opposite of Cockatoos, man!" SilentDroidd mumbles in a panic as he tries to keep the bus under control.

Ultimately, the bus swerves to the left, breaking through cement and pushing past cars, before falling off the highway bridge itself.

Thankfully, below isn't a big body of water, but a forest of grass, bushes and plants that the car lands on. What a relief that everyone in, on or around the bus manages to come out of it with only minor scratches and bruises.

Wildcat rolls down the grassy hill first out of the group, in a completely dizzy state. "What fuckin' year is it?! Holy shit!"

_Well, didn't take long for bad things to happen, now did it?_


	3. Gonna Get Hella Drunk Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Quirkiness Ball D, the Banana Bus happened, and then it crashed.
> 
> Okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: No one actually gets really drunk.

"ALRIGHT!... So... things didn't really work out with the Banana Bus..."

Various voices agree around Vanoss, following the owl-masked Canadian down the side of the long, _long_ street.

After the series of wild events that occurred thanks to Wildcat's unpredictability, Vanoss and his squad are left treading through the streets on foot, now that the Banana Bus lost control and crashed. Nothing but a dozen or so more miles to ' _ **where redemption is earned**_ ' and' _ **blah-blah-blah**_ ', stuff like that, in their to-be-reached destination.

"Man, this sucks!" H2O Delirious frustratingly laments, bummed about the ride's unexpected crash.

"Yeah, it was all nice and relaxin', then Wildcat decided to fuckin'... be a crazy fuck, and then—and then that's how we crashed." Daithi De Nogla complains, stumbling over his words here and there like he's falling down stairs.

Wildcat decides to try and look on the bright side of things... "Well, I'm just gonna—I'm just gonna say... at least it was a fuckin' great experience by the end!"

"Yeah, nothin' says ' _fun experience_ ' like **collateral damage**." The hint of sarcasm was incredibly noticeable in Terroriser's tone, in response to the pig-man's comment.

Vanoss tries to assure the group, "Guys, come on, we can still enjoy ourselves! We just... we just need a new ride, that's all."

"Doesn't look like there's gonna be one at this point." Lui Calibre mentions. "Especially one to fit, like, eight people."

"Yeah, we're gonna need another bus or somethin'," says Mini Ladd, "because we're definitely not gonna take turns being dropped off at Los Angeles."

"That'd be pretty shitty." Nogla agrees.

"What's shittier is that there might be more walkin' here than in the fuckin' Lord of the Rings." Terroriser additionally complains.

"Shit, that's right, we might actually be a while..." Vanoss realizes, trying to laugh off the disappointing and frustrating factors of this walk. "Ah well, gotta get some exercise in somehow!"

With that, there is a big patch of silence, as the collective handful of YouTube-based gamers stroll down the sidewalk, ignoring any insult thrown at them here and there about their appearance, said by the occasional annoying driver.

One would hope a car crash would result from at least one of those asshole drivers focusing on calling the walking group of gamers 'circus freaks' instead of focusing on the road.

...

"Actually... hold on, I think I see something over there..." Vanoss spots a small building off in the distance.

The others squint as they look towards the direction that the owl-masked guy sees, and it becomes quite noticeable to them what that is.

"Oh shit, it's a bar or some shit!" Wildcat realizes, thankful for the bar spotted in the distance. "Fuck yeah, I could go for a drink!"

"Oh yes, let's go for c-cervezas!" SilentDroidd briefly stutters as he speaks, running up to Wildcat.

Wildcat and Droidd, followed after by most of the other guys in the group, run past Vanoss as they head off.

It's left to just Vanoss and Lui standing in the dust.

"Alright, uh..." Vanoss turns towards Lui. "You wanna grab some drinks, Lui?"

"...I-I'm not old enough to drink..." Lui responds, in his childish 'squeaker' voice, providing another odd moment in the group's travels.

Before it could cause some annoyance in Vanoss, this squeaky proclaimation ( _no jokes aside_ ) is quickly followed by him bursting into a chuckle. Lui then responds, in his normal tone, "Nah, I'm jokin', let's go."

Lui always finds some odd times to joke around...

* * *

" _Yeah bitch!_ "

Wildcat slams through the doors. The party piggie is always ready to break shit wide open when he comes by.

Unfortunately for him, there's not that much of a party going on within the premises of the building. Just a handful of men, some women, a little pet or two, sitting around and shootin' the shit. At least, until the pig-man's sudden appearance causes every pair of eyes within the hang-out to point at him.

Instead of realizing the awkwardness of his intrusion, Wildcat tries his damnedest to try and hype the scattered crowd of patrons.

"Aw, come on, guys! Don't stare; let's have some fun!"

One presumably-intoxicated man responds bluntly. " _Dude, go back in the dumpsters..._ "

"Fuck off, dickface!" Wildcat mindlessly lashes out, horrifically offended.

"Dude, calm down." Vanoss comes up behind Wildcat. "We're just gonna mingle, no need to go nuts."

"Yeah, this isn't GTA, dude." Nogla adds his two cents, standing to the left of Vanoss.

"Come on. Come on _iiiin._ " The Canadian owl-guy eases Wildcat into the club, lightly pushing him in to avoid him rushing in too fast and potentially causing a ruckus.

"It was better in GTA..." Wildcat laments, head hung down as Vanoss helps him further into the establishment.

* * *

"Alright!"

Vanoss clinks drinks with the rest of the group, a collective "Alright!" from the others after his initial proclaimation, sitting at a table on the far right of the bar. Lui, Nogla and Mini Ladd sit on the same side as Vanoss, as Wildcat takes up the other side with Delirious, Terroriser and Droidd. It's a pretty tough fit for the group of eight, but at least they're trying their best to get comfortable.

"We got our drinks, got a bit of a food goin', we're set for now.. but we still gotta think about how we're gonna get a ride out of this from somebody." Vanoss explains. "Any—anybody got an idea?"

"...Yeah, I got nothin'." Delirious shrugs.

"Same." Lui adds.

"Nothing much." Terroriser responds.

"...Well, so much for getting a plan out quick." Vanoss rests a hand on his owl mask.

"Wait, hold on... we—we still got a couple other guys who could help out; y'know, Ohm, Marcel, Cody, Anthony..." Nogla realizes, the first out of the group to acknowledge the uninvited bunch, and quite surprising that it took until this for someone to realize.

"Probably too busy with life to hang around us tonight." Mini Ladd quickly responds.

"Yeah, that could be it." Terroriser nods in agreement.

"C-can't we just call them to see if they're up for it?" Nogla suggests, trying to help the rest of the bunch reconsider.

"Some of the other guys are, like, halfway across the country, dude; it's too late to bring them in at this point." Lui retorts.

"...Ugh, guess you're right." Nogla descends into the table, looking quite mopey in the agreement.

"You're never really often right, dude. Who listens to Zoidberg these days?" Wildcat bluntly proclaims. Not the most polite flower in Vanoss's garden of friends. He's probably just salty about having to tone himself down from his _Grand Theft Auto_ -style wildness. Can anyone really blame him at this rate?

"Ha-ha." Nogla sardonically expresses, not really feeling the love.

Terroriser leans back in his seat, next in turn to speak. "So we're in too deep then. Even then, Evan, take a look around, man; there's quite a lot of big bros around here. Tell me, who in here _would_ you trust to help get us a ride?"

"Oh come on, not everyone's like that here." Lui casually justifies the situation.

"Yeah, just look at us!" Wildcat promptly quips. There is a brief chuckle within the group, but not a lot to go by. Not really a big point to the joke, when you think about it.

"Heh, yeah, but seri—seriously, there's some small bros, maybe a couple 'bras', around here." Lui picks back up on what he was saying.

"This place isn't exactly a _'hardcore gangin-and-bangin'_ joint, Tyler, more like just a hangout." Nogla states, in all seriousness.

"Speakin' of hangin' out, check out the hottie over there in the booth next to us." Delirious points ahead, past where Wildcat is seated.

Vanoss turns around towards H2O's pointed direction; looking through the owl mask, he spots a young lady in the other booth sitting alone, reclining on the seats around the table over there. The attire looked fairly basic, with the jacket, shirt and jeans, but the most noticeable features on her were the sleeve of tattoos poking out into visibility from under her right sleeve and the prominently bright shades of blue that made up her hair. Guessing smoking is allowed here, since she seems to be nonchalantly toking on a joint.

Vanoss asks, "Uhhhh... you're not considering we want her to help us out, are you?"

Nogla adds in, "I dunno man, someone who completely dyes their hair like that isn't really the best of people."

"I mean..." Delirious begins, before verbally tumbling down into laughter just as he listens to Nogla's comment, whilst staring towards Mini Ladd's pink head of hair.

Mini soon after begins to catch Nogla's retort, and starts to chuckle a little within his realization. "Wait a minute... wait a minute, hold on...!"

At this point, Wildcat joins in on the laughter with his own can o' cackles, with Lui following behind, slacking a little with his own little giggly fit.

"She just— _hahaha!_ –she just looks a bit lonely, man; maybe if we try to help her out, she could help us out, y'know what I mean?" Delirious justifies his suggestion.

"Yeah, I know... and it sounds so stupid it just might work." Wildcat responds.

Terroriser chimes in with his own little bit. "Yeah, and Wildcat, maybe you could convince your girlfriend to dress up like that; who knows, maybe your pig-dick would be proud of it!"

The group cherishes all of this humor, with everyone in a complete burst of laughter...

...all except for a slightly embarrassed and offended Wildcat, who turtles deep into his seat. "D-don't poke fun at my dick, dudes!"

There is a _lot_ of wild laughter going about, what with the pig-dick discussion suddenly brought about and other odd discussions that were going on leading up to that on the side. _Biiiig ol' cacklefest goin' on_.

However, this laughing fit begins to simmer down a bit when the guys catch wind of another voice, a feminine one, joining in on the laughs.

As it quickly turns out, it's gotten to the point that the babe sitting in the booth adjacent to the eight-man group is beginning to burst into a giggle of her own.

"Holy shit, it's growing infectious!" Wildcat retorts with a joke on the matter, quickly recovering from his brief embarrassment.

Through much of the chuckling that remains in her system, the bluenette in the other booth finally speaks up. "Man... now I'm startin' to wonder what the fuck kinda place I'm in!"

Getting away from his humor-based high, Nogla insists. "Heh-heh, well... if it's botherin' your privacy or somethin', we can move if you want..."

"No-no, it's—it's fine, guys..." the casually-smoking lady assures the group near her, as she plops her nearly completely-smoked joint into the ashtray on her table. "I could use a few more laughs tonight."

Vanoss speaks up. "Why so?"

"Well, nothing much..." The yet-to-be-named young lady responds. "...just _bored_... know what I mean?"

"Bored with what? What's the problem?" Terroriser casually asks.

"The short answer? Life." The girl, think she can be nicknamed 'Miss Blue Hair' at this point, replies. "The long answer? Well... I got a friend I live with around this part of the city... she's busy with her own shit right now, meeting up with her mom and pops up in Seattle for some weird hipster art gallery stuff. Not really my sort of shit, but that's the kind of shit you gotta let your friend enjoy." She reclines back in her seat with a brief but noticeable sigh escaping her lips. "Now I'm just hangin' around, smokin' the night away... maybe lookin' for somebody to hook up with."

"Told ya." Delirious quickly retorts to his peers, calling back to what he mentioned a moment ago.

The blue-haired babe makes another brief comment following her explanation. "You guys look like you're having a hella-great time over there, though. Lemme guess; tryin' to cheer yourselves up with a 'brewski' or two after your ride broke down?"

The collective mind of all of the former Banana Bus patrons briefly halts for a moment when the joint-smoking stranger mentions the situation that they were indeed in.

Sensing the group's surprise of her mentioning that situation, she responds. "Come on, I'm sitting right here; how _wouldn't_ I hear it all?"

Wildcat snarks in response. "There's no way you heard _everything_ , dude."

The bluenette retorts back, "Oh really, _pig-dick_?"

Tons of laughter from the entire group, and Wildcat is briefly penis-shamed in a humorous way again.

Fresh off the laughter, Lui begins to ask... "Hahahaha...! Okay, so... you're willing to give us a ride?"

After a brief few seconds of considerable thought, the bluenette shrugs her shoulders in response. "...I could try to fit everyone in. Where to?"

"Los Angeles." Mini Ladd answers at an instant. Afterwards, he starts explaining the situation... "To make a long story short, Vanoss—the Owl-Man leading the charge—heard about this wrestling thing going on up there, and he wanted all of us to join in on the fun. Of course, we _had_ a ride to begin with... but you kinda already know what happened, from what you heard."

Faintly from the back of the group, SilentDroidd says, " _Yeah, sorry bros..._ "

Arms bending back to rest behind her head, the almost-delinquent-looking gal voices her immediate opinion. "So you're _those_ kind of guys, huh? Heard those guys can get hella rowdy..."

...

After a brief contemplation, she continues, staring directly towards the various costumed screwballs that she's quickly become acquainted with. "...and now that I think about it, I think that's all I need tonight."

She extends a hand.

"Name's Chloe Price… and tonight, it looks like you guys found your personal Uber."


	4. Ground Rules

_Nearing midnight..._

* * *

Chloe slams down the front hood of her truck. "So where'd you guys hear about this thing up in L.A. Again?"

Leaning on one side of the truck, Wildcat explains. "Some flier Evan found; he said there was shit like this everywhere in Riverside. Said somethin' about redemption and fire, and some other shit, but not really what we're lookin' for tonight. In a big old nutshell, we just wanna have fun, and that's pretty much it."

"I don't know if I got a good idea of what you consider fun."

The pig-masked dude speaks up. "You ever play _Grand Theft Auto_?"

The bluenette shrugs slightly, looking out into the road as she responds. "Ehh, here and there. Never really got into it."

Zoid-Nogla speaks up from the other side of the truck. "Eh, that's fine – that just means you're gonna have a lot more fun with this than we will."

Terroriser adds in, "The important thing is, we probably aren't gonna be breaking any laws..."

Mini Ladd briefly butts in, "—Besides breaking and entering, _if we have to_ —"

"...yeah, so if you're worried about that, _don't be_ ," Terroriser continues, "although it'll probably be closed by the time we get here. That's why we got this." He shows off a crowbar to the rest of the group, before chucking it into the cargo. "You ever have to break into a building before, miss?"

Chloe _certainly_ remembers, making the answer _very_ easy to make. "A few years ago, actually. Had to sneak into a school with my friend. It's kind of a long story..."

And then Vanoss steps into the middle of the group, "Yeah-yeah-yeah, you can tell us when we're off on the road, but first – guys, huddle up at the cargo. , excuse us for a little bit – private meeting..."

The band of mostly animal-masked misfits are now squeezed together into the moderately-fitting cargo box in the back of 's truck.

"Alright, guys, listen up." Vanoss starts. "I know things are starting to kick off well between us and that chick – we're all getting along well at this point – but after a bit of thinking, I figured we _may_ have to settle on a couple of necessary ground rules if we're gonna have to go through with this for the long run."

Lui Calibre seems a little confused. "Ground rules? Evan, I think we're perfectly fine already – I don't really see what problems there are with this."

Wildcat sums up the plan, not seeing any complications ahead with what it holds. "We're just taking an hour-long ride, maybe more, from some babe we've only just met to the Staples Center – what's complicated about that?"

"Tyler, I..." Mini Ladd scooches in close towards Wildcat. "I think the complication _is_ that ' _some-babe_ '."

After that, the pig-masked dude looks towards his right, looking through the back window – one good look towards the reclining Chloe in the front seat of her truck, before he looks towards the owl-masked Vanoss.

Vanoss nods lightly. "Yeah, well... that's basically the thick of what I mean."

Wildcat almost _immediately_ bursts into a guffaw. "Dude, that's so gay!" His lack of seriousness in his attitude is noticeable in _waves_ among waves.

And it's a little bit infectious, as Delirious can't help but join along with Wildcat's sometimes wheezy laughter, and even Nogla manages to muster up a bit of a chuckle.

Terroriser facepalms with barely any subtlety of his disapointment with Wildcat's laughing at the 'gayness' of whatever Vanoss is implying. "Oh, for fuck's sake, guys..."

"ALRIGHT!" Vanoss brings the laughter to an abrupt end with this slightly meme-y shout. "Guys, I know it's a bit... _different_ having to tag along with this chick, but the ground rule, the _one_ rule I can go by is that _we don't try to bang her._ "

Thankfully, there doesn't seem to be any objections once he lets it out, so Vanoss feels it's clear to get some agreement on this. "So are we clear on that?"

Clearly, what Tyler believed was different from the true reason. " _Oh_. Is _that_ what you meant? I-I just thought you weren't into girls."

Vanoss is trying not to laugh at Wildcat's beliefs. "Pfft, _shutthefuckup_... so we're good?"

Wildcat nods almost immediately. "Oh, dude, definitely; some of us already got girlfriends – it's cool, dude."

"Alright..."

* * *

 

Vanoss, being the leader of his pack, had enlisted himself as the guy to call shotgun; after the brief group meeting, he hops into the front side of the truck.

Having no part of the impromptu meeting arranged by Vanoss, Chloe had no choice but to wait for the animal/hockey-masked and Terminator/Zoidberg-cosplaying goof-offs to finish up whatever they needed to discuss; she wasn't the most patient, but gazing towards the night sky as time flows by helps her keep her cool.

As Vanoss sits down in the passenger's seat, the blue-haired gal comments, "I hope you guys aren't in too much of a hurry..."

Vanoss shrugs. "Eh, a little; the place is only about an hour from here, but I'm confident we'll make it in time."

"You sure?"

"As sure as I'm recognizable in this owl mask."

" _Weird_... but alright..." The engine of the truck spurs to life, as Chloe looks out towards the road ahead. "Let's go."

Even with seven people in the back putting some significant weight down on Chloe's truck, it isn't much to slow it down, as it drifts on down the open road...


	5. Check Your Laptops At The Door

So far so good; the Banana Bus Squad's return to the road has been calm and relatively friendly, with banter and fun bullshittery in bounds, mostly among the Squad themselves, more than between them and their newfound driver. Wildcat had just started up a story about him and a few friends of his meeting another new friend, a guy who happens to own some odd little farm on the edge of the city, as a way to pass the time while the road wound by, minute by minute.

About a half an hour worth of driving in the books, and as they've traveled closer to the Staples Center, the amount of people driving in the same general direction has depleted over time – considering that nothing of mention has really been revealed about the situation at the arena, it's not surprising that not many people are willing to find out... well, except for the Squad, and for _some certain others_ that they have yet to cross paths with.

All of a sudden, Vanoss realizes something – he hasn't bothered explaining to anybody on social media except for the friends he's invited along with him for this ride. 'The fans oughta know', after all, and so, he quickly whips out his phone for a short recording...

* * *

 " _Hey, what's up guys, it's Vanoss. Sorry to take you by surprise with this big owl face in the thumbnail – I don't usually do vlogs, but I might as well update you about what's going on. So, I'm sure some of you know, mostly people here in California, about this thing going down at the Staples Center. Don't know shit about what's gonna happen besides a lot of wrestling. Me and my friends are heading up to LA for the show – we're lookin' to get into the show to watch, maybe even try to convince the guys there to let us get involved. We did have something to drive in to get over there, but shit broke, so now I'm coming to you, riding in a complete stranger's truck with my friends in the back – don't worry, she's a pretty hot stranger, and pretty friendly once you get to know her. . I'll be sure to keep uploading some of the videos I've got already put together while I'm out to LA with the rest of my bros hanging by. Don't really got a lot of time since we'll probably get there in a few minutes, sooooo be sure to like, leave a comment or whatever, and I'll talk to you guys later._ "

* * *

 

Vanoss hits the stop button on his phone's recording. "Aaand that's going up to YouTube..."

Chloe keeps her eyes ahead to the road, but can't keep the light blush and the slightly flattered smirk. "You didn't have say I was really hot."

Fidgeting around with his phone, Vanoss responds. "Yeah, I know – but the fans oughta know sometimes."

"15 _million_? Looking like _that_?"

"I'm a gaming channel first – people don't really need to see my face. Plus, this mask is my brand look. Merch, plushies, the works."

Chloe uses a lot of willpower to chill her amazement; Her hand rests on her cheek as she responds with a chuckle. "That's just... fuckin' insane, dude. That's celebrity-level shit you're dealing with."

Vanoss responds, "Yeah, well, I'm mostly in it to have fun – the cash and popularity is just a bonus to our usual antics."

The blue-haired bombshell replies, "No wonder you guys wanna go to that fling in LA..."

After a brief pause, she turns her head a little more towards the owl-masked gamer. "...You even know how you're gonna get involved?"

Evan responds, "I'm sure they can squeeze something in for us – I don't even know who's gonna be a part of the show, but here's to hoping the guy who runs the place knows about me and my friends back there."

Chloe lets out a composed sniff as she eyes the road she drives down. "Good luck with that."

Then another, even longer and slightly more awkward-feeling silence. It may just be that she's busy driving and keeping her eyes on the road, but Vanoss feels he has to offer up something to Chloe to help her feel a little more confident.

He speaks up again, "...I'm sure they can find something for you, too."

The punky-looking girl shakes her head. "Nah. Not really into wrestling like you are. Besides, I'm nothin' worth talking about."

He replies, "Really? Thought you'd be up for the opportunity to get some sort of fame in the entertainment business."

"Yeah, but if anything, I'd rather be a rock star or somethin'," she remarks. "Not really as dangerous – I've been through enough danger these past couple years."

"Like what?"

Vanoss' question simply dares Chloe to produce some sort of example of danger to further something honest to him; there's been a few things that she could talk about, but one specific, and _especially_ big moment this past year provides something more in her mind than the rest.

She gives it a moment to respond with that in mind, especially given how recent it still is in her mind. "Well... I've survived a tornado that thrashed through the town I used to live in..."

Vanoss' immediate response was a brief "Oof." Surviving a notably rough natural disaster is certainly something, especially since he's already been topped, what with the lack of examples he was thinking about himself. "...Gotta say, you got me beat there."

"Right?" Chloe responds. "I mean... someone like me would need to have quite the lady-balls to find a way past that shit. Just thinking about it, it's fuckin' tough. That's why my friend and I came all the way here, to leave it all behind after it... all came crashing down."

If it means anything to this drive, it's for the best that this trip doesn't become any bit of a bummer in _any_ which way. They're likely not far off from the Staples Center at this point, even if the trip isn't meant to be that much longer overall, so it's probably too late to be thinking about these not-quite-happy moments of the past.

After a beat of silence, Vanoss speaks up. "...If I were you, I wouldn't want to keep thinking about it – we're all here to have fun, right?"

Chloe's eyes linger away from the road a little, looking down to the ashtray between her seat and Evan's. She could use a little toke right now – that usually helps.

She very much _does_ consider one more ciggy for the drive before they make it to their destination, but ultimately doesn't go for it, as she refocuses on the road ahead, curving a little bit more of a smile on her face again, as she replies. "Yeah. Yeah, we are."

"Yeeeah," Vanoss blurts confidently, his owl-mask covered head nodding lightly. "That's what I like to hear."

The blue-haired babe then says, "Won't be much longer anyways, right?"

Vanoss looks out his window at the buildings in the distance from the highway they continue to zoom down. "Yep."

Between these two, the adventure, as low-key as it feels overall, might as well be worth it in the end, no matter what might come their way. It's nice, calm and quiet cruising from here on out.

The other members of the 'Banana Bus Squad' on the other hand, aren't that much quieter.

Far from, actually...

* * *

 "So, about five hours later, the cops found him sleeping in the hay, balls-deep in a pig."

"What?!" Delirious shouts in disbelief.

Wildcat's story has just finished up, and in quite a surprising fashion. That 'farmer' he befriended was _definitely_ not right in the head _at_ _ **all**_.

"That's actually pretty disgusting," Terroriser bluntly comments.

With that, Wildcat caps his story off with, "...and that's why I don't accept _every_ friend request on Facebook."

Lui comments, "Good to know," before taking another sip of his drink.

Wildcat looks over to Nogla sitting in between Terroriser and Mini Ladd; the deep-voiced Irishman is partially out of his Zoidberg costume, his claws and wide-eyed mask off to better allow him to have his drink properly.

"Nogla, how 'bout – how about _you_?" The pig-masked dude asks. "You got a story you can share with us?"

"Uhhh..." Daithi is a bit hesitant, especially with having to try and top that weird farmer story that Wildcat decided to belch out to start passing the time. "Alright, alright..."

Nogla twiddles his fingers a little in between the beer can in his hands... "So, uh, my brother and I... this was – this was a year ago... my brother and I were driving around – we were gonna grab a bite of something, and I was driving, when my-my stomach... sorta started feeling shitty. I let my brother know, 'I don't feel too good, I'm gonna park right here', and I _do_ , so–"

Wildcat suddenly interjects, "Is this another 'shitting yourself' story?"

Nogla's response takes a brief second before he can let it out. "...No."

"Tyler, just let him fuckin' speak, man." Terroriser tells Wildcat, a little agitated by his rudeness.

"No, it was not shitting this time, but it was something," Nogla says, before getting back into his story. "So I get out of the car – there's a forest right where we parked, and I bend over the rail over there. I start _puking_ – it was then I remembered the milk I drank earlier that day was a bit too old. I-I saw the expiration date on it, and I just sorta decided 'screw it', and I was regretting it then. After I finished puking, I look down, and it was then I realized, I puked into an anthill. Sooo I got back in the car and that was it..."

…

No one spoke a word. Just the blinking of everyone's eyes were the only recognizable movement alongside the group.

…

Wildcat claps his hands together. "Ho-kay! Nogla, once again, you've made travel stories lame – where's the laptop? I gotta wash down that stupid pointless story with some "

Nogla speaks up, "Aw come on, Tyler-"

"No, Nogla," Wildcat interrupts, as Lui leans by and slides over the bag with his laptop in it, "you had a chance to top my pig-fucker story – gotta say, puking on anthills is somethin', but it's not enough of a somethin' to top that shitting-yourself story. That's your peak, dude, and you might as well stick with it."

The 'gangsta pig' opens up and turns on his laptop. "Geesh – anybody know how good the wi-fi is on the road?"

"Tyler, you didn't need to bring your laptop with you." Terroriser suggests.

Wildcat responds, "Brian, I keep my videos on here, and I don't want to keep the subscribers waiting on the next one for too fuckin' long. We're gonna be gone for a day or two anyway."

Terroriser interjects again. "We're riding on the back of a truck – it's not smooth cruising here, definitely not as smooth as riding shotgun like Evan is."

Wildcat shrugs. "Whatever; my phone's already filled with stuff as it is – this just gives me a lot more space to work with, to edit, to upload and shit. Nothing bad's gonna happen anyways..."

Timing could not be any more cruel to the pig-masked YouTuber, however, as a very rough bump in the road, thanks to an unfortunate manhole, causes the laptop to bounce around in his lap.

He mutters, "Whoa shit," as his computer fumbles around in his arms; his arms flailing about aren't doing any favors either, as it just makes it worse.

Soon enough, the laptop begins to bounce its way towards the end of the truck, and Wildcat naturally squeals in panic.

"NO! MY VIDS!"

As his computer teeters over the edge, he jumps at it and grabs it...

...but he also throws himself almost the whole way off, to the point that his feet are the only parts of him not overboard, and as a result, he ends up hanging off, almost like a low-flying kite, cuddling his laptop for safety as he yelps helplessly.

No idea why it does, but this odd predicament causes Delirious to burst into laughter, alongside the surprise and bafflement of the others.

"What the fuck is going on?!" The hockey mask wearing goof shouts, bewildered by Wildcat's problematic situation.

Lui is surprised that Wildcat's feet are somehow holding on to the back wall of the truck's cargo area. "Holy shit! How are you holding on?"

"IIIIII'm in a pickle!" Wildcat shouts.

His call manages to catch the attention of Vanoss in the shotgun seat; he doesn't pay _too_ much attention at first, but he notices the 'in a pickle' comment in the second time around, and he turns around, peeking out the window to see Wildcat hanging across the air behind the truck by his feet.

He can't help but laugh in bafflement. "What the _fuck!?_ "

"This isn't how I wanted to spend my daaaay!" Wildcat helplessly shouts, still holding onto the laptop and hoping for an end to this somewhat scary but ridiculous situation.

Chloe herself doesn't notice what's going on, until she adjusts the rear view mirror, and sees the pig-masked guy in zebra pants hanging by his feet on the back-end of the cargo box. Not quite the kind of sight she was expecting to see after meeting these guys.

Utterly baffled by this ridiculous mess going on in the back of her truck, she says, "The flying _fuck_ is that pig douche doing?!"

Staying calm but somewhat nervous, Vanoss responds to her. "Uhhh, don't know – just stop the truck."

Chloe puts the brakes almost immediately, bringing the truck to a stop.

Just as the truck rolls to a stop, Wildcat's horizontal flotation also ends, as he slightly hovers for a second longer, before suddenly dropping and face-planting into the road.

Evan and Chloe lean out of the open windows from their respective seats, joining the rest of the group in looking down at Wildcat as he lays face-down in the pavement, unmoving for a moment...

...

...and then the only movement coming about so suddenly was his arm springing up with the laptop in hand. "Computer's still safe, boys!"

...

Chloe doesn't have many words to say, except some to ask Vanoss. "...This happen to you guys often?"

"In games – yes. In real life – _nooo,_ " he responded, nodding and then shaking his head accordingly.

It's taken until only now for the majority of the squad to hop out from the cargo and help up Wildcat after that... well, whatever the fuck just happened.

"You okay, Tyler?" Mini Ladd asks as he and SilentDroidd help the pig-masked goof to his feet, by his arms.

"Yeah," Wildcat responds. "Good thing I'm wearing a helmet. And a mask."

Definitely seems like a good thing; facial damage from that road splat he just took was thankfully minimal due to his headwear, with his mask just a bit scratched and dirty.

As Tyler brushes off the dust and dirt that came off the road onto him, he looks up at the road behind the truck...

...and he sees something interesting: _the only other car passing by_.

Wildcat gasps as the dark blue car zips past him and the rest of Vanoss's team. "Whoa! Look at that!"

Delirious points, shouting in his signature shrill tone. "Who the fuck is that?!"

Vanoss looks at the road ahead, and the car disappearing into the distance. "Oh! Well, now we know we're not alone...!"

"Quick! Follow it!" Wildcat demands, pointing ahead. "Maybe they know something we don't!"

"Tyler, we can't be too sure about that," Daithi speaks up. "Maybe they're lost."

"Nogla, gotta be honest, that sounds like a stupid excuse not to follow them." Wildcat responds. "Rev the truck up, let's go!"

"If you want to, we'll go!" Vanoss assures his pig-masked friend. " Just hop back in the cargo!"

"Ah, fuck that! I ain't going through that again!" Tyler's response goes along with him opening Evan's door, as he scooches past his seat and sits right in the middle, in between him and Chloe.

Based on how many seatbelts there are in comparison to the amount of people in front, Chloe considers Tyler's position a bit of a bad idea in the long run. "Dude, if you're gonna sit here, at least find a way to strap in!"

Wildcat then replies, "Alright then, 'scuse me..."

He scooches closer to the bluenette, a bit rude with his movement as he slightly lifts her up and positions himself on her seat, under her, and showcasing very much the minimal definition of force as she ends up in his lap as a result.

She isn't very happy with his positioning, as she almost looks embarrassed and maybe a little offended to be in this position. "Seriously?!"

Tyler attempts to assure her. "It's okay, we can share the seatbelt!"

"If that's the case, why the fuck wouldn't you share with _him_?" she asks, gesturing over to Vanoss.

Wildcat looks towards the passenger, wanting the owl-masked leader to back him up, but he just shrugs instead.

Looking back up to the bluenette, Wildcat simply responds, "I think you oughta know I don't swing that way."

Chloe scoffs, attempting to budge him off her seat to barely any success. "Well, _I_ don't swing _your_ way, either!"

Soon enough, Vanoss interjects, "Chloe, come on – he just went through some shit back there... Please... just give him this one time..."

Keeping under much consideration that her heart has already gone to someone before the events of what she's found herself in, Chloe is bothered to hell with having some guy she barely knows anything about other than his association with Vanoss, especially since the vibe of the pig-masked guy is, to put it lightly, not very mature, to say the least.

Eventually, she just decides to leave him be, buckling back up and readying to start driving again.

She warns Tyler, "Just don't get any ideas."

He responds, "Eh, don't worry. I don't really think about a lot of things when I'm on the road..."

The truck revs off down the rest of the road, ready to play 'follow the leader' ( _well, define 'leader'_ ), and see what comes their way heading towards the Staples Center...


End file.
